Woohoo!! All that planning has paid off and the big day is FINALLY here. In the last blog of this series we talked about things that neurodivergent folks could do to help make the planning process a little more manageable. Today we’ll be talking about wedding day tips and prep to help everything run smoothly! Again, this isn’t a completely comprehensive list… take what resonates with you and leave what doesn’t.
This may seem like the easiest of wedding day tips, but for those of us that get socially drained easily, it isn’t a bad idea to have alone time leading up to the wedding. Even constant socialization with your closest friends and family can be exhausting. Spend your time in the week leading up doing things that recharge you. Whether that’s meditating, taking a nap, reading a new book (or two), spending time outside, going for a drive, listening to music, exercising, or playing video games… the options are endless. The little bit of extra time you use for yourself will really be noticeable come wedding day!
I’m not here to tell you what a safe space is, because that looks different for everyone! If you think that pumping up the jams and having mimosas will get you ready for the big day, then do it!! But, don’t think that just because that’s how weddings normally look… that’s how you have to do it too. Think about what you envision your morning looking like. It could be waking up early, going for a run, and listening to some calming music while you get ready! Having cozy blankets, old t-shirts, and people who respect your boundaries in the room with you. Or, maybe that means ditching tradition all together and getting ready with your partner! You don’t have to wear matching silk pajamas, and do everything that Pinterest tells you if that doesn’t feel like you.
I wish I could scream this from the rooftops to everyone I work with. It’s so important to nourish your body, especially if there’s a possibility of getting overwhelmed. If you’re wedding is going to be slightly more traditional that means that you’ll probably start getting ready around lunchtime, or maybe even earlier, and you may not get a break until dinner. Having a big breakfast or planning ahead to always have snacks nearby will genuinely make everyone involved much happier! It could even help to ask someone to be the bearer of snacks! Have some protein bars or fruit on hand no matter where you all might be. The last thing you want is to be hangry on your wedding day!
I mentioned this briefly last time, but I just wanted to take a second to talk about it one more time here. If you are prone to sensory overload, then triple check to make sure you have everything you need with you! I’ve found really cool jewelry that can act as a fidget toy to help prevent picking at skin all day (Etsy always has the best selection for this!). If loud noises are bothersome to you get a nice pair of high-fidelity earplugs (linked are my favorite ones, not an affiliate or anything – just as someone who goes to weddings and concerts most weekends!). Look back over your schedule with your partner and double check to see if there’s any alone time for you. I’ve seen couples intentionally build this time in by having the DJ play line dances so no one would notice they slipped away!
Okay, I know that this feels like it shouldn’t count. But, for folks that are neurodivergent and really need those wedding day tips and tricks… I want to hammer this one home. It is so important to be kind to yourself this day! You’re going to look incredible, you’ve done an amazing job planning the best day ever, and all that’s left to do is enjoy how awesome everything is. Have fun, treat yourself right, and be present with the ones you love. It will help create the most amazing memories (and your photos will turn out even better that way ;))!
Remember, though, you don’t have to label yourself/fall into the category of neurodivergent to take these things into consideration! And, just because you do these things doesn’t guarantee that everything will be perfect. They’re just safety measures that I’ve seen be helpful, and have done myself!